Tips For Maintaining Good Health

Following are the tips of enjoy a happy and healthy life:

Eat a range of nutrient-rich foods:

The body requires more than 40 kinds of nutrients for maintaining a good health. Sadly, there is no a single food that can provide everything that your need. In general, the best combination of diet should include bread and other whole-grain products; fruits; vegetables; dairy products; and meat, poultry, fish and other protein foods. It also depends on the amount of calories that your consume on every day. You can consult an expert or get to know your requirements by consulting from a recognized Food Guide Pyramid.

Enjoy food stuffs that build your body:

Many surveys clearly show that most people do not eat what their body requires instead they consume that is not at all needed by their health. Only eating a lot will not give everything that make your body but disintegrate the diet into small servings to fulfill your requirements. Include all the components in the best possible quantity and vegetables.

Enjoy a healthy weight:

Weight of a person generally depends on many factors such as sex, height, age, and heredity. People who have excess fat in their bodies are more prone to many kinds of heart diseases, strokes, diabetes, some kinds of cancer and other illnesses.

People who are too thin generally face risks for osteoporosis, menstrual irregularities and other health problems. Approach a well-known and experienced dietician to help you resolve your problem. You also need to cultivate better hobbies for successful weight management procedure.

How to Shape Up Post-C-Section

Post C section Exercises as advised by as Physiotherapist

Post surgery any training needs to be supervised in the early stages so the wound does not open. Coordinated breathing exercises can be started immediately. All post partum exercises should be started gently and by starting with simple pure Pilates coordinated breathing exercises.

As a Physiotherapist and a Pilate's teacher and a mother of 3 boys. I have knowledge to share on this topic.

All Post C section exercises need to be started immediately under strict supervision. The wound needs to be clean and strong and healing. Follow the nursing staff advise on this

I can give you some very simple techniques to start with.

OK What Program should you do?

This is an exercise I give every patient having had any surgery. This is an exercise to initiate the Transverse abdominal muscle (TVA). This muscle is one of the most vital post c section exercises. It will help with pain and scar adhesion's and core strength. You can also start initiating the pelvic floor.

I also give this exercise to all new mothers post pregnancy.

I have modified this exercise for the post C section mother for extra success and for pain relief

o Lay on your tummy with a pillow under your tummy.
o put a pillow under your feet as well
o concentrate on your breathing pattern,
o feel your chest or belly moving with your breath, pain may make the breath shallow
o As you blow out draw your belly button in toward your spine. there will be very little to start with.
o Let it out as you breathe in, this will be very weak when you start and may cause pain.
o This is the opposite pattern to which you are used to.
o Your post c section exercises have started, simple as that
o hold your belly as you practice it will be painful first up

IT IS SAFE TO DO THIS
o Practice coordinating your breath out while drawing your tummy in.
o This coordinating breathing action can be practiced in any position once you have the pattern correct.
o progress the post c section exercises by drawing your tummy in while breast feeding or on the toilet or just resting, try it without the breath out.

Start this simple exercise and you are on your way to the next post c section exercises.

The next step

Once you have the TVA muscle working you can train it to be functional.

Begin to hold the muscle tight while you are doing a task. The post c section exercises progress quite quickly once you can hold the tone while working. For more information follow the links.

Be sure to be safe with any post partum exercises especially the post c section exercises as you become more mobile Follow the links below for more information on this exercise program

Best Bra For Sagging Or Small Breasts

Unfortunately time is something no person can escape. As time marches on, your body gets older and has visual and physicals effects on everyone, from wrinkles to loss of hair, no one can escape time. Many women find that as they age they develop sagging breasts, this can often be accelerated after childbirth. Unfortunately cosmetic surgery is still very expensive and the risks involved with the procedures remain quite high.

Thankfully there is a very real, instant and amazing product available. This product is so good that sagging cleavages are instantly raised, given a fuller firmer look, with a side order of perkiness added. What is this amazing product I hear you say? Well believe it or not it is the simple bra, well the push up bra to be specific.

The push up bra has been with us for a long time, talk has it that it was first developed in 1943 in conjunction with Howard Hughes, specifically for a lady called Jane Russell. Eva Herzigona really brought the push up bra to the fore, in the 1990's, jumping on to the world stage shouting "Hello Boys".

So what is the push up bra and how does it work for you?

Really it is a specially designed bra to push together the individual breasts up and together, this gives an amazing amount of lift to the cleavage and bringing a fullness and firmness to your cleavage. The original padded bra had cotton inserts, which gives the added lift and firmness to the cleavage.

A more modern take on the cotton inserts is "Gel bras" also known as water bras or silicon bras. These are identical in the design to the push up bra with the exception that the cotton inserts are replaced with liquid filled inserts. The advantages of these types of inserts over the cotton ones are that they are more natural looking and allow a natural looking movement as well. This is a matter of personally taste, some ladies prefer the firm look and hold, while others prefer the natural movement look, its up to you to decide what works best for you.

If you suffer from sagging breasts and do not want or can't afford permanent breast augmentation/cosmetic surgery, then one of the best options for you is the bra, ladies the push up bra is the answer. There really is no better bra to help with sagging breasts than the push up bra, original, gel, water or silicon.

Breast Milk - Biological Benefits

Children are precious gifts given from God. Parents are not to stop caring, adoring and loving their newborn babies. Babies are precious, as mom and dad it's a must that you take good care of your baby. Nutrition wise mothers have a choice, there's a highly recommended feeding, and it is breastfeeding.

It was already fully developed since past times, the healthy benefits in breastfeeding. Immunological benefit truly is the major reason as to why breastfeeding becomes a highly suggested feeding for infants, to have good health. Advantages of breastfeeding include better digestion, protection towards allergies and infectious diseases.

BREASTFEEDING AIDS BETTER DIGESTION

Breastfeeding helps eliminate meconium a substance (stool actually) which was in the intestine of an infant. The breast milk also offer different protection factors, to the infant's digestive system, protecting him/her against diarrheic type of condition

Unlike the commercialized prepared milk formula, the breast milk does change in a lifetime, in the relationship of mother and infant. Through breast milk the baby does meet its needs in nutrition, in every stages of his or her life.

Breastfeeding in relation to the close contact of a baby to its mother does provide vaccine on the safe bacteria which a baby needs to colonize intestinal gut. These certain microorganisms, they are providing its basic material needed in manufacturing the vitamins as well as digestion of food when the infant's digestive tract already matured.

BREAST MILK CAUSES RESISTANCE AGAINST INFECTIOUS DISEASES

Breastfeeding do provide babies of many benefits and immunological advantages too, Breastfeeding as well do provide babies of ongoing sources of antibody, which a baby's immune system hasn't developed.

A mum's immune system becomes mature with time, so she will have the chance building up resistance to diseases or infections that cause pathogens. This protective resistance can be passed to the baby from the breast milk formed as antibody.

There are certain microorganisms coming from babies that the mother can pick up due to your close contact, thus, a mother develop an antibody for those pathogens that her baby might pick up.

BREASTFEEDING PROTECTS BABIES AGAINST ALLERGIES

The presence of proteins in the breast milk of mother's which have been species specific prevents babies from being allergic on their mother's breast milk, so babies can't be allergic. Babies on their first weeks still has an immature lining of gut, it means that it enables a large molecule leak on this intestinal gut. If this protein passes through the baby's immature immune system, allergy might result.
Through breastfeeding, an infant is protected against the allergic reactions and provides infant the substance called Secretory IgA. It is an immunoglobulin found in breast milk and colostrums, preventing absorption of a foreign molecule when an infant still has an immature immune system.

Healthy advantages in breastfeeding is very popular, pediatricians are highly recommending this method of feeding infants during its 1st year and they advice to continue this up to the baby's 2nd year.
In summary, breastfeeding accompanying benefits are wonderful both to babies and mothers. To encourage and support mothers to breastfeed will be beneficial to the community in producing happy and healthy babies.

So You Have Cancer

What might be one of the hardest things a woman can hear? Well a good friend of mine, over five years ago, was told by her doctor that she had breast cancer. I am here to tell you that this was one of the hardest things this woman has ever heard from her doctor. And by the way I have her permission to relate this story.

She said that she thought her heart was going to stop. Her first reaction was certainly fear and then her disbelief set in. But she and I worked together to keep her stress level down while she conducted this health battle.

What would you do, may I ask? Well she decided to just take it slow. All of her thoughts, the advice of her friends and family and all of the information like choosing which hospital and which treatments were certainly over whelming. But to her credit she took it one day at a time.

She gave herself permission to feel sad and to get a little nostalgic. She joined a local support group of women who are cancer survivors. They all have been through it and still are going through it. She made sure she was taking good care of herself both physically and emotionally.

Then a light went on (her words), she is still a mother and wife, that did not change and with it come responsibilities. So she said to herself, shape up as you are needed! Now her attitude was and still is that she would not allow this to beat her, she was and is going to win and win she did, just got her free pass for another five years.

In a nut shell she created a plan and got very organized, that was the only way. She asked lots of questions, she became a great listener and then she went out into the world and stopped feeling sorry for herself. As I have been told many times by her, a great attitude was what she calls her great equalizer.

She just knew she was not going to quit in this battle and she kept her head high. She was always asking what can I do next? She was and still is hard to keep up with. She is fully aware her fight is truly never over but as time has passed her confidence has risen with it. And as always you must live well to be well.

I think. I read. I care. I inform. I coach. A great real story about my friend. My passion is to help. Sandeep Rajput

Breast Cancer Alert For Women

Cancer is a lethal disease which kills the most number of people, right after heart diseases. When the cells in the body are affected by cancer, they begin to multiply rapidly and form a lump or a tumor. Cancer shows no significant symptoms until it has spread considerably and has damaged your immune system.

The initial symptoms are quite harmless and similar to non cancerous health problems; it may often go unnoticed. Therefore it is important to pay attention to any chronic or persistent health issue, even if it is only a headache or a sore throat, especially if you have a family history of cancer. Cancer can be cured completely if detected on time.

There are more than a hundred different types of cancers and the various names are given according to the body part affected by the disease. breast cancer and cervical cancer are the two types of cancer that women have to watch out for, especially if they have a history of the disease in the family. There are special screenings that can help detect both cervical and breast cancer in time.

Breast Cancer Detection and Treatment

You should carry out breast self examination regularly and check the breasts for lumps or any abnormal changes in appearance, such as dimpled skin, color change, nipple discharge or pain. Your breasts are at the lowest level of sensitivity just after your menstrual period. So try examining them at this time every month.

This procedure can help even small lumps and this can make a difference of at least six months in starting treatment and improves the chances of survival. Most of the lumps are generally non cancerous but it is better to have it checked by a surgeon to rule out the possibility of cancer.

The investigations may consist of mammogram and a biopsy if needed. Biopsy is performed under general anesthesia and the lump is removed and checked in the laboratory for cancerous elements. If the lump is found to be malignant, lymph nodes from the armpit need to be tested further to find out how much the cancer has spread.

You might need surgery to remove the cancerous lump. Modern surgical procedures do not need the breast to be removed unless the tumor is very large or is closely situated near the chest wall. Just a lumpectomy would be sufficient along with other usual treatments like chemotherapy, radiation or hormone therapy.

The entire procedure requires you to stay in the hospital for about five days and you will need to go afterwards for lymph drainage. You will also be taught some exercises to ease the movement of your arm which might be affected due to some tissues getting removed from the armpit. Thereafter, you will have to continue for some time with chemotherapy, radiation or hormone therapy, whichever your oncologist decides.

It is very important to fight cancer with a positive attitude because a negative attitude will weaken your immune system. There are women who have not even stopped working during their struggle with cancer, except for the few days of hospitalization, and have emerged triumphant with the support they get from the workplace and family.

Remember, cancer is not always fatal. With timely treatment and a positive attitude, this killer disease can be overcome.

Honeymoon Romance After the Wedding

Honeymoon romance after the wedding usually vanishes from the relationship because of the problems and cares of the world. Couples end up going through withdrawals from planning and getting married. The honeymoon is over.

What happened to the honeymoon romance after the wedding?

Most relationships lack romance after the wedding because of frustrations of everyday living. You're back from the honeymoon and back to the hustle and bustle of life. The job picks up where it left off. There is no end in sight for all the world has to throw at you.

As long as you keep romance in your relationship nothing else will matter. As you made your vows to support each other in good times and bad, you begin to realize how tough it is to keep your relationship fresh and romantic.

There's not enough time in the day to accomplish all the goals you have. The job creates pressure; the car has problems; bills keep coming and the frustrations of life weigh heavily on the brain.

You realize you must go back to the basics of what brought the two of you together and that is love and romance. Jobs will breed frustration; bills will continue to accumulate; problems will arise on every front and if you're not careful the problems of life will creep in and steal your romance after the wedding.

Don't let it happen. Dance!

We witnessed the kind of intimate closeness that comes from ballroom dancing from the popular reality TV show, "Dancing with the Stars". Dancing is the ultimate romance tool before during and after the wedding. It's up to you to create the romance.

The show plainly illustrates how various ballroom dance moves really brought couples together again and again. Some couples should never have been paired up because of incompatibility but they learned to get along with each other for the sake of the competition.

You're not starting with a disadvantage because of your history together as the romantic couple that got married. Learning to be partners again while holding and twirling each other should be a lot easier because you already love each other. Don't wait until the world has brought your relationship to a grinding halt.

Get up and dance!

There will be tons of holding each other while ballroom dancing and a great way to get close. As you look at the component parts of ballroom dancing, it's probably safe to say it was invented by a man as a way to get close to the ladies.

The history of ballroom and ballroom dance types were developed in England according to Wikipedia, and are regulated by the World Dance Council (WDC). In the United States, two additional variations are popular: American Smooth and American Rhythm.

Ballroom dancing should be an official metaphor for practicing to be romantic with your partner. All of the leading and following creates instant closeness. Learning to help each other align and balance your bodies is a recipe for developing good team work with each other.

A good dancer needs to practice, practice, practice and a good marriage needs the same; and you don't have to be as mean as the judges on Dancing with the Stars to accomplish your goals.

Help each other. Love each other. Laugh with each and dance with each other because the world can beat you up. The two of you must always battle the world together and learn to create romance after the wedding.

Ballroom dancing is a good place to start.

5 Top Tips for creating romance after the wedding.

1. Realize the frustrations of jobs rob you of time and start scheduling time alone.

2. Realize bills can cause frustration and start budgeting.

3. Realize random problems will arise to help pull you apart and communicate with each other.

4. Go back to basics of what brought you together and keep bio;d.

5. Ballroom Dancing can be a great after the wedding romance tool.

When you see the problems of the world pulling you apart, stop and create some romance!

5 Tips to Fix Relationship After Cheating - Help For the Cheater

Cheating in a relationship is one of the more difficult obstacles to fix because after infidelity has occurred it takes a lot to repair the relationship. It's obvious that the relationship will never be the same but that doesn't mean that things can't be great or even better, so don't lose hope.

There are some who believe that cheating is justified but if you really believe that then you will have a hard time restoring your relationship.

There are 5 things you can do to try to repair your relationship and they are as follows;

Give Your Partner Space and Time

I know you will have the urge to make things right as soon as possible. However, it's important that you realize it's not possible to fix relationships over night after cheating. Your partner needs to be able to dictate when and how and if you are able to work things out.

Apologize

Sincerely apologize to your partner and only go as far as he or she wants to go with the discussion. It's important that your apology is sincere and from the heart and that you are prepared to answer questions should they come. It's ok to say I don't know if that's the truth. However, it's not okay to say "I'd rather not tell you this or that". Your hurting partner deserves to have questions answered.

Don't Point Fingers

Don't try to make your partner feel guilty and take part of the blame for your selfish act. Regardless of your situation, your partner will feel betrayed and let down. Your act of infidelity showed a lack of respect and love so trying to point fingers at him or her will cause anger and resentment towards you. Accept full responsibility for cheating and it will help to repair your relationship.

Be Understanding and Accepting

Understand that you have to rebuild trust and respect from your partner and that takes time. If you are able fix your relationship after cheating, you have lost certain rights and privileges. Obviously, there are new boundaries that will be in-place to help avoid cheating from occurring again.

Be accepting of your partner's decision.It's important that you understand and accept your partner's decision to stay or go. Don't get angry and try to force your way back into his or her life. There may be a need by your partner to spend some time alone reflecting and deciding what's best for you both. If you act immature or negative regarding your partner's decision you may never get a chance to fix your relationship after cheating.

Let Your Partner Know How You Feel

Your partner needs to feel your heart. You need to let him or her know that although you have made this terrible mistake, you want to restore and repair your relationship after cheating because you love them. He or she needs to know that what you did was a mistake and not something that will happen again.

The best way to fix your relationship after cheating is to be open, honest and real. All deceptiveness and evasiveness must be over.

Only your partner knows if he or she will be able to work things out and restore your relationship.

Signs That Your Girlfriend is Cheating on You Online

Dating online is one the trendiest socializing in the internet nowadays. People have been into social networking that most often a link to meet new people from all over the world. And is also a dangerous ground to break relationships. If you see signs that your girlfriend is cheating online; then somehow you must examine some of her activities.

• Your girlfriend seems to be spending too much time in the internet and stays up late at night. She could have several email accounts which she can use for online chatting. A simple chat can lead to something more intimate and this is one of the alarming signs that your girlfriend is cheating.
• She starts to open her accounts in different social networking websites like Facebook or Myspace. You can check the list of her added friends. There are telltale signs that can lead to your suspicion that she is cheating on you. If her added friends are mostly male but there are females too; she did on purpose to ward off obvious reasons that she is cheating. And worse, she did not invite you or add you to her social accounts.
• You are denied access to her private accounts or have changed her passwords. If she is reluctant to give you the access, this is also a sign that your girlfriend is cheating.
• She reacts in a panic mode when caught by surprise if she sees you coming closer to her. Watch for her immediate reactions like clicking on the mouse as she minimizes the window with the person she chats with. Surprised and blushing face is a sign that your girlfriend is cheating on you.
• She starts to hang out with her friends more than the usual. Your girlfriend's cyber fling can be just nearby, she can be using her "friend" as an alibi when in fact she is actually meeting different person.
• Your sexual connection decreases and she often starts up the discussion with angry reactions. She seems like she is annoyed with your presence. Even if you try to pacify things, she deafens with you and chose to leave.

If you think you have encountered similar incidents, obviously these are signs that your girlfriend is cheating. It is wise that you gather evidences first before you confront your girlfriend so she cannot deny the activities that she was doing behind your back.

Can I Save My Marriage Even Though My Partner Has Fallen Out of Love With Me?

One of the most common reasons for divorce is the expression, "I don't love you anymore" and if you are on the receiving end of this earth-shattering phrase it will undoubtedly end up destroying all your confidence, leave you feeling vulnerable and send you spiraling into a fit of acute depression. The very reason that you are reading this article is that you are more than likely in this very situation and have asked yourself, endlessly "Where has our love gone and what can I do to get it back and save my marriage?"

Sure, we all agree that there are things you should and shouldn't have done over the years - all long term relationships face bumps along the way, but then we are all so clever in hindsight! Some of the reasons your partner may have fallen out of love with you, could include:

• Boredom

• Feelings of being taken for granted

• Loneliness

• No communication

• Very little, or no form of intimacy

This is going to come as a shock BUT what you need to do at this point, in an attempt to save your marriage, is the very opposite of what you would like to do! Here are some pointers to help you:

Step 1 - Can I Save My Marriage: Confidence

Do not beg or plea with your partner in an effort to get him to stay with you. Do not stay at home all day crying! Show them you are strong in your own right and not entirely dependent on them - you are not with them because you have to be there, rather because you want to be with them. Try to be as calm and level-headed as you can be in the situation. Most importantly do not behave in an 'over-anxious' manner. This will only prove to be an irritant to your partner.

Step 2 - Can I Save my Marriage: Trial Separation

As hard as this may seem, a trial separation may be just what your relationship needs - a 'cooling' off time to enable you both the think things over. Once you are away from each other, it will put a stop to the constant bickering and accusations. It can also be a time for reflection on the good parts of your relationship that you will miss and are worth fighting for. It is also an opportunity for you to show your partner that you do have an inner strength that is not totally reliant on them

Step 3 - Can I Save My Marriage: Know Yourself

During this very emotional time, try to focus on yourself and look to ways to improve yourself and your relationship. Pay attention to the points that may have caused your partner to start drifting away from you in the first place. (Refer above). Ask yourself what you can do for your marriage. There is much to gain from working through these issues.

Step 4 - Can I Save My Marriage: Communication

Once you have had some 'time-out' from each other, it is now vitally important that you start communication with each other. Make a time that is convenient to both of you and take turns to listen as well as putting your point of view forward. DO NOT blame or attack each other - this will only put the other person on the defensive, don't complain about what has already hurt you - rather suggest changes you can both make. Most importantly, do not withdraw, act aloof or refuse to discuss the situation - this is your MARRIAGE you are trying to save!

Step 5 - Can I Save My Marriage: Get Help

What happens if all the above still does not help? Then you should get some marriage counseling. If you are at the stage when you are not communicating with each other, you will only grow further apart. Marriage counseling provides a neutral environment where both parties can feel comfortable opening up and examining their true feelings.

The world will end in 2012, say experts

SCIENTIFIC EXPERTS from around the world are predicting that five years from now, all life on Earth could well come to an end. Some are saying it’ll be humans that would set it off. Others believe that a natural phenomenon will be the cause. And the religious folks are saying it’ll be God himself who would press the stop button. The following are some likely arguments as to why the world would end by the year 2012.

Reason one: Mayan calendar

The first to predict 2012 as the end of the world were the Mayans, a bloodthirsty race that were good at two things -- building highly accurate astrological equipment out of stone and sacrificing virgins.

Thousands of years ago they managed to calculate the length of the lunar moon as 329.53020 days, only 34 seconds out. The Mayan calendar predicts that the earth will end on December 21,2012. Given that they were pretty close to the mark with the lunar cycle, it’s likely they’ve got the end of the world right as well.

Reason two: Sun storms

Solar experts from around the world monitoring the sun have made a startling discovery. Our sun is in a bit of strife. The energy output of the sun is, like most things in nature, cyclic and it’s supposed to be in the middle of a period of relative stability. However, recent solar storms have been bombarding the earth with lot of radiation energy. It’s been knocking out power grids and destroying satellites. This activity is predicted to get worse and calculations suggest it’ll reach its deadly peak sometime in 2012.

Reason three: The atom smasher

Scientists in Europe have been building the world’s largest particle accelerator. Basically, its a 27 km tunnel designed to smash atoms together to find out what makes the universe tick. However, the mega-gadget has caused serious concern, with some scientists suggesting that it’s properly even a bad idea to turn it on in the first place. They’re predicting all manner of deadly results, including mini black holes. So when this machine is fired up for its first serious experiment in 2012, the world could be crushed into a super-dense blob the size of a basketball.

Reason four: The Bible says it

If having scientists warning us about the end of the world isn’t bad enough, religious folks are getting in on the act as well. Interpretations of the Christian Bible reveal that the date for Armageddon, the final battle between good an evil, has been set for 2012. The I Ching, also known as the Chinese Book of Changes, says the same thing, as do various sections of the Hindu teachings.

Reason five: Super volcano

Yellowstone National Park in United States is famous for its thermal springs and old faithful geyser. The reason for this is simple -- it’s sitting on top of the world’s biggest volcano and geological experts are beginning to get nervous sweats. The Yellowstone volcano has a pattern of erupting every 650,000 years or so, and we’re many years overdue for an explosion that will fill the atmosphere with ash, blocking the sun and plunging the earth into a frozen winter that could last up to 15,000 years. The pressure under the Yellowstone is building steadily, and geologists have set2012 as a likely date for the big bang.

Reason six: The physicists

This one’s case of bog -- simple maths mathematics. Physicists at Berkely University have been crunching the numbers. They’ve determined that the earth is well overdue for a major catastrophic event. Even worse, they’re claiming that their calculations prove that we’re all going to die, very soon. They are also saying that their prediction comes with a certainty of 99 per cent; and 2012just happens to be the best guess as to when it occurs.

Reason seven: Earth’s magnetic field

We all know the Earth is surrounded by a magnetic field that shields us from most of the sun’s radiation. What you might not know is that the magnetic poles we call North and South have a nasty habit of swapping places every 750,000 years or so -- and right now we’re about 30,000 years overdue. Scientists have noted that the poles are drifting apart roughly 20-30 kms each year, much faster than ever before, which points to a pole-shift being right around the corner. While the pole shift is under way, the magnetic field is disrupted and will eventually disappear, sometimes for up to 100 years. The result is enough UV outdoors to crisp your skin in seconds, killing everything it touches.

The Grief of Losing a Loved One

Losing a loved one is undoubtedly one of the most difficult experienced people go through, but when a person commits suicide, there is an added element of guilt left behind.

Suicide may seem like an easy way out of a tough situation or an unhappy life,but suicide is never easy on the survivors of suicide. Family and friends of those who take their own lives are left with a list of unanswered questions:

• Why did he do it?
• Were things so bad?
• Was it painful?
• Did he guarantee himself an eternity in Hell?
• Can he be forgiven for taking his own life?
• Did he consider the family he was leaving behind?
• What was the deciding factor in taking his life?
• Did he try to tell someone he was thinking about suicide??
• Would professional advice have helped?
• Was it someone’s fault?
• Could someone have prevented the suicide?
• How can survivors of suicide move on?
• How can survivors get past the way he ended his life and remember him for the good times?

Guilt

The guilt you feel after losing a loved one to suicide can be consuming and overwhelming. Though feeling guilty is a normal for suicide survivors, it is not accurate or fair to assume any responsibility for their actions. It is important to remember that you are only responsible for your actions and how your respond to the actions of those around you. A person who is desperate enough to commit suicide is most likely trying to flee from unending pain and it has no reflection on the people in his life.

Grief Counseling

The emotions you feel as a survivor of suicide can be overbearing. Sorting through your emotions on your own can be a difficult experience as you move from anger and shame to guilt and regret. Grief counseling is one option that may help you get through the difficult time and sort out your feelings in attempt to heal from the tragedy without accepting the blame for it.

Another option for suicide survivors is to seek out a grief support group. You’ll be amazed by how opening up about the tragedy in the company of supportive strangers who know what you are going through can help. Sometimes it feels good to talk about your loss, fears, guilt, grief and sorrow. It’s also okay to just listen until you are ready to share your own story.Grief Support Groups

Steps Towards Healing

Healing from the loss of a loved one doesn’t happen overnight, but there are some steps you can take to make peace with your loved one and their decision to commit suicide.

1. Forgiveness. This may be difficult at fist when you are blaming him for leaving you the way he did, but it is an important step in the healing process. Try to understand where he was coming from and why his life might have seemed overwhelming.
2. Closure. Finding closure is another way to begin healing after a suicide. Come to terms with what happened. Write a heartfelt letter to your loved one.
3. Remember and Honoring. It is important to remember your loved one for the good he did, for the times you shared and for the kind of person he was. Displaying pictures, holding memorials, telling future family members about him, etc are all ways to remember and honor your loved one’s life.

When a Loved One Commits Suicide

Suicides are nearly twice as common as homicides, says Indiana University professor of psychology John McIntosh. He’s an expert in suicide prevention, and offers insight into people who kill themselves, suicide notes, social isolation, and feelings of grief.

Signs of Suicide RiskThe effects of suicide are similar to the effects of any sudden loss: shock, disbelief, and feelings of anger or guilt. Searching for answers is common when people kill themselves.

What to Say to the Survivors of Suicide

McIntosh offers suggestions for what to say and do when someone has lost a loved one to suicide.

“Tell them you are sorry for their loss, give them instrumental support with their daily needs, and don't dwell exclusively on the way that their loved one died. Recognize that they may feel very sensitive about the circumstances and try to avoid platitudes like, 'I know how you feel,' if you haven't experienced the same situation," he said.

Suicide and Depression

s a hugely relevant topic for today’s generation. Many suicidal individuals go largely unnoticed or are often shunned and ignored by most of society. They are often seen as weak and bothersome individuals who require too much attention.

This perception is completely and shamefully misguided. Few can understand the immense weight and pain that a suicidal person carries. To view someone suffering from this kind of pain as somehow insufficient is devastatingly ignorant and arrogant.

Suicide Stats Over Last 60 Years

Suicide has escalated to magnificent proportions over the past 60 years. Suicide is now the leading cause of death among people of 15- to 25-years-old, according to CapeFearHealthyMinds.org, a project developed by the Mental Health Association of North Carolina.

This is an extremely frightening indication of how many people suffer from suicidal tendencies in the modern day and age.

There are many reasons for Suicidal thoughts or actions. When confronted by those who are suicidal or express suicidal tendencies, it is imperative that these people who are in immense psychological pain are treated with affection and tenderness. Suicide threats are an outward hint that something is gravely wrong within a person’s life and mental state.

Dealing with Someone who is Suicidal

One should never attempt to counsel or rehabilitate someone with suicidal thoughts themselves. In most cases, those most prone to suicide and suicidal thoughts are people who suffer from serious clinical depression. It's estimated that between 30% to 70% of suicide victims suffer from some form of depression or another psychological disorder such as bipolar (manic depression).

This fact denotes that these cases need to be dealt with professionally and that in most instances, the problem is of a psychiatric nature and the result of a mental disorder or imbalance in brain chemistry. Anti-depressant medications can lead to dramatic improvements in one's condition. Often, it is just a matter of finding the right drug, combined with therapy. Many people’s lives have been completely changed for the better through the use of medication and therapy.

Professionals who deal with cases like these will provide help through psychological training as well as counsel. Often, depression results from major problems within a person’s social or family life. These issues need to be dealt with by careful counseling with a qualified professional.It is extremely important that when dealing with a suicidal person, one acts out of love and complete compassion. Often all the victim desires is an ear to hear. The worst thing one can do is to lecture or to preach to the person who is suffering. It can be beneficial provide information on the local mental health facilities and organizations that can provide assistance.

Hope for Recovery From Depression

Suicide or threats of suicide are a direct expression of a dire need for help. One should always approach those in this position with openness and warmth. One person on Suicidial.com recorded his/her feelings toward suicide, saying, “At times, I felt it almost as an entity, darkly drawing me into the dark universe, an eternal vacuum of death ...a wrenching, twisting, turning emotional agony.” This is the reality of depression and it's indicative of the depth of pain that patients can suffer.

64 Ways to Say I Love You

64 Ways to Say "I Love You":

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.
64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Sex and Desire IV

The Science of Sexual Desire

For four weeks, we have explored various aspects of desire. We have looked at the way desire emerged from the Indian myth of Radha and Krishna, and last week, we looked at the evolutionary roots of casual sex. I think it's fair to say that at the root of the desire for casual sex lies that pesky sense that passionate sexual desire can only be found in the transcendence of the mundane routines of domestic life- exactly Jayadeva's point.

Here we will explore what contemporary research on desire has to say about desire.

Contemporary Research on Desire

Despite the archaic attraction, and despite the fact that our ancestry is filled with casual sex (despite even the evolutionary significance of casual sex), much of the research of sexuality is focused on marriage. This is in part, of course, because of the secrecy that accompanies the illicit, and in part because of the brief and fleeting nature of the affair.

Research on desire is relatively new and for the longest time deemed rather insignificant. It was up until fairly recently commonly assumed that sexual interest was a given and that it came about more or less instinctively. This changed when people who experienced problems with sexual arousal became a source of scientific interest. Desire is now more and more seen as a distinct aspect of sexuality and is receiving much scholarly attention. Here, I will briefly touch on two of those new studies on desire.

Desirous Genes

One of these recent theories on desire suggests that sexual desire may not be an entirely psychological thing, as common understanding would have it. Rather, it might be, at least in part, in our genes. Researchers at the Hebrew University of Jerusalem discovered that differences in the way sexual desire is experienced could be explained by genetic variations.

The scientists looked at the genetic blueprints of both male and female university students and compared these blueprints with the students' self-described sexual desire, arousal and sexual function. Turns out that there is a connection between variants in a gene (the D4 receptor) and the students' descriptions of their own sexuality. The researchers suggest that the presence of particular genes either increase or decrease arousal and sexual charge.

In that same study, researchers also found that women and men were equally aroused by certain magazines and films, but women reported much more sexual dysfunction. And I thought that the stereotypical idea of women as not having strong sexual desires was a thing of the past! Cory Silverberg notes that indeed, as women increasingly take charge of and possess their own sexual agency, clichés about women avoiding sex with lines like "not tonight dear, I have a headache" are slowly disappearing.

Headaches and Sex

And this is where the second study I want to discuss comes in. This study, published in the journal Headache, looks at the relationship between headaches and sexual desire and suggests that the opposite of that old cliché might be true.

The study looked at the connection between migraine headaches and sexual desire. Researchers expected that migraine sufferers would experience stronger sexual desire. This is because of serotonin, a brain chemical. Serotonin overkill kills libido, but it turns out that migraine sufferers have low levels of serotonin. The results confirmed that indeed, male and female migraine sufferers have stronger sexual desire in comparison to, as they themselves see it, their non-migraine suffering peers, and also in comparison to people with tension headaches.

In their closing comment, the researchers commented:

The excuse, "Not tonight honey I have a headache," will probably remain a valid option in eluding sexual activity, but those suffering from migraine may be the least likely to use it (as cited by Cory Silverberg)

In the past four weeks, we have explored a wide array of aspects of desire, from myth, to genetics, serotonin, evolution and the freedom from the mundane routine of domestic life. Whichever we use to explain our own desires and or how we act on them (or not!) is, as with all things, simply a matter of which argument we find most desirable?

Men & Women's Sexual Arousal Rates Do Men & Women Get Excited at the Same Rate? Read more at Suite101: Men & Women's Sexual Arousal Rates: Do Men &

he sexual arousal rates in men and women may be more similar than you think.

Sexual arousal rates in men and women

The psychology of sexual arousal rates was fascinating long before Alfred Kinsey researched it. Kinsey was the first to make men and women's sexual arousal rates public and acceptable (though how acceptable his research was is debatable!). New research about sexual arousal rates reveal that men and women get excited at the same rate, which seems hard to believe. Don't men think of sex hundreds of times a day, thus increasing their sexual arousal rates?

Sexual arousal rates in men and women: McGill's study

McGill University researchers found that men and women have sexual arousal rates that are more or less equal. However it's important to remember that any time humans or animals are involved in laboratory studies, their responses aren’t quite the same as in “real life.” Researchers do their best to simulate real life situations when they're studying sexual arousal rates in men and women – and they can come really close – but it’s not quite the same. Would these research results about sexual arousal rates be the same if study participants were in their own homes, with their own lovers?

Maybe, maybe not. The psychology of sexual arousal rates in men and woumen may color the results of the research.

Many factors are involved in a research study on the sexual arousal rates in women and men:

Place affects men and women's sexual arousal rates. The subjects watched a movie with video goggles and other measurements of their sexual response rates. This is much different than having sex at home (or on the train, plane, desk, photocopier, etc). How applicable are the lab findings to "real" sexual arousal situations and sexual arousal rates? It's difficult to say.

Lover versus movie affects men and women's sexual arousal rates. With a real-life lover, most men and women (especially women) are affected by their surroundings, who is nearby making noise, how fat they feel, whether they have gas, if birth control is available, how hairy their legs are, how intimate their relationship is, what a colleague said as they were leaving the office, if they're fighting with their sister, and so on… In light of this, do the study’s results about sexual arousal rates in women and men transfer to real-life sexual situations? It may be easier for women to become aroused by watching a movie in a quiet, unpressured research situation than at home with all sorts of real-life distractions.